Muffie

Milton's Satan reminds me of my brother. Hoo boy.

I don't like Milton anymore now that I did last time I had to read him. Though, there is lower depths of hell: Bunyan.

I checked the Tosa Diary out of the library and my eyes glazed just looking at the poetry interspersed with the narrative. It's cool beans. I have to check with my advisor for final approval (I expect sneering disdain from Ms. William Carlos Willaims is God), but that's the form my master's thesis is going to take: nikki bungaku. Too bad I can't just write fanfic.

I've got a Buffy/NCIS slashy crossover I'm almost done with. Huhm. I think, for like the first time ever, I'll run it by a beta. But gee, Muffie, where will you get a beta that 1) knows both fandoms (at least in a fanony way), 2) is slashtastic, and 3) tolerates Muffies?

Arrogant people like me suck.

*headdesk*

I like to read the ol' agony aunt columns. Dear Abby, Dear Margo, Dear Prudence, and I like Randy Cohen's ethics thing. Sometimes, though, I get this really stupid urge to write to one of these people, usually Margo because I like her wit—she's sharp without being political and vicious like Prudence. I'll lean back in my office chair then mentally scroll through my "problems" and try to formulate and interesting "question" for her. And that's just the height of idiocy on my part because I don't have any problems that I can't really solve on my own or with the help of my husband-critter. I don't need Margo to tell me what I already know.

Though, I do have some PSAs I'd love to have Dear Abby announce as she does so often in her column, like the Love of Slash/Yaoi is just as normal as your average guy's lesbian fantasy.

Fandom: Stargate & Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Notes: Gen-fic! Occurs after to Season 8's New Order, but before Lockdown SGC-time and after Season 4's Primeval, Buffy-time. Spoilers for.
Disclaimer: Jack O'Neill and Stargate belong to Brad Wright, Jonathan Glassner, and MGM. Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: A no-neck grunt wants Jack to stop looking for the crazy lady that visited his roof. Jack does what he's told only when he wants to.
Rating: 13 and up for language
Length: 6,405 words

( Someone Else's AO )

To First Part of Series: Of Snake Jackals
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I am writing and writing and writing. For some reason, I get near the end and then I don't finish, I just start something new. I'm finding this new habit of mine to be highly irriting. I've got some new ideas percolating, but other than scribble them down on paper in what's looking to be cryptic now, I'm not starting anything new until older stuff is finished. So there.

Squeee! Batman Arkham Asylum is all that and a 55 gallon cooler of godiva chocolate ice cream. I'm s'posed to be working, and homeworking, but I'm standing there like a moron watching my kid play it and letting a forty-pound anthology of British Literature wilt around my knees.

I'm halfway through the fifth season of NCIS. I've been watching it pretty steadily all summer, to include rewatching episodes regularly.

The more I watch it, the less I like Ziva David.

At first, it thought it was the whole You're a Canonical Threat to My OTP! princess snowflake thing, even though I only vaguely OTP Gibbs/DiNozzo and canon seems to have Ziva humping Tony's leg every single episode. But then I figured that I would have been fine with Tony marrying Jeanne and whelping a bunch of little Tonys. I was kind of sad when the break up was permanent and couldn't be fixed. So that got me thinking it's not the slasher snowflake thing that's got me all hating Ziva. I don't like Colonel Mann either, but I thought she was a moron from the beginning. I waffled about Sheppard and still do. Love Abby.

So. Ziva and Tony sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. No. It's the character. I've never liked Ziva. Ever. I like Cote de Pablo. I just don't like Ziva and I keep hoping the occasional idiot from the Mossad that shows up will actually succeed in killing her. It's like a Big Mac after steak.

I miss Kate. Stoopid Bellisario.

I never read or open spam, but I do skim the titles and sender to make sure something non-spam didn't slip in before I empty the junk mail. It struck me as funny this morning, with my brain all epileptically out of whack:

1. Read it or I'll curse you
8. Dating 101: The race factor (from Inheritance Claim)
9. Boobs chart
11. Help in composing

My funny bone is tickled by both the discordance and synchronicity available here.

I'm addicted to Zoo Tycoon (the first one). It's just so much gosh darned peacefulness. *sigh* It's not like my zoos all look radically different from one another anyway. I'm barely withholding the urge to play. I have to work now. And I'd like to write.

DBAD

Thumbs up for okaasan59

What the hell!

( The Bucket List Meme, or Have you ever: )

So there I was, watching the Hall of Fame pre-season game and reading the Thrill Me verse on Spanderfiles on my Treo (I love my smart phone!!) when it came on. The commercial. Batman: Arkham Asylum. I watched the Joker prance around Arkham, laughing, with his perfect voice and squeed. I scared the living hell out of my child and made the dog pee himself. Who knew Luke Skywalker would be the best Joker ever? I sure as didn't. After watching the preview in HD (love HD), I ran back to check IMDb and lo and behold, the voices I loved from the animated series are on the game. Ron Perlman is back as Bane and Clayface. Richard Moll as Harvey Dent. Kevin Conroy as Batman. Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn. August 25th, baby! Ooh. I have class. This sucks.

From a news report I read this morning:
Officials are decrying political corruption in New Jersey after more than 40 people, among them rabbis and elected officeholders, were arrested in an investigation in which some were accused of laundering tens of millions of dollars and of black-market trafficking of kidneys and fake Gucci handbags.

According to this reporter's ethics, the blackmarketing of fake Gucci handbags is more gaspworthy than the blackmarketing of kidneys. Maybe I'm weird, but it made me smile, almost giggle. Black humor. Seriously! Anyone who is a decent writer knows that the noun at the end of a sentence has the most impact; it has the most importance. If you've got a list of things, the first thing on the list should be the second most important thing and the last thing on the list should be the most important thing. It's going to have the most meaning. When you're writing a story that's going to have emotional impact, whether it be fiction or journalistic, then then pay attention to list order.

So, really. Rabbis trafficking in fake Gucci handbags? *gasp* London Tipton wrote this, didn't she?

You should always take pride in your fic! I wrote a "choke" triple-drabble with sparkles on top! Well, I didn't write most of it. George Lucas did. I ripped his dialogue off, took a very bare bones interpretation of what was happening in the scene and put other people's names in place of Star Wars character names. In the immortal words of London Tipton: Yay me! (Yes, I watch Disney Channel.) Why? Why? Someone ranted at Fanficrants and I wanted to make fun of the people they were ranting about. So I did.

And now I present:

( The Camp Rock Empire Strikes Back (I Am Your Boyfriend, Selena scene) )

I hate drabbles! They're like being with a premature ejaculator that rolls off and goes right to sleep. Urgh.



Uh, caveat, unless said "drabble" is written by a master at the writing craft.

Two fabbo things this weekend.

1. I learned the best way to make iced green tea. Get cold water. Put the appropriate amount of green tea bags in the water. Stick in fridge for a few hours. Serve. Yummy.

2. The absolute bestest shot at the AT&T National this weekend was nothing ol' Tiger did. It wasn't Michael Allen's astonishing 143 yard 9-iron straight into the hole for an eagle on the par 5 Nine at Congressional. It was Anthony Kim's drive off of 18. Smacked that ol' boy right in the left buttcheek! My hat's off to you AK! I want to golf like Anthony Kim.

( 35 seconds of embedded YouTube video of AK's miracle drive under the cut )

I've been watching NCIS DVDs whilst working for a lil' while now. I've finished seasons 1-2 and Kill Ari. I've watched NCIS on and off for a while with Ziva. I have to say that I much prefer Kate to Ziva. Kate has personality and really fit well. Ziva? Boooooring in comparison. The chemistry just isn't as strong with the rest of crew as it was with Kate. Color me seriously unimpressed with Ziva now.

So. My neighbors now have to purchase their own Internet connection since they'll no longer be mooching ours (great word arn!). I feel so sorry for them. Not! The trickle of DMCA notices should stop. All two of them.

On the down side, my cat got hit by a car. I watched it happen. It was traumatic. I'm going to say it is very much more so for the cat, but I was really upset for a long time. Still am. Luckily, as far as lucky goes in car and cat meetings, the cat was only dinged by the tire. It took a little fur off one leg and strained some muscles. Nothing broken, no sprains. I didn't know it at the time. I only saw the cat meet the car, flop, then limp off into the woods at Warp Factor 10 Mr. Sulu. We spent two hours looking for him and only found deer tracks, lizards, and a lot of ticks. I look like I have chicken pox. Very gross. He came back home about eight hours later. And he was not happy to have a car ride (can you blame him?) to the vet.

I'm working out my issues by writing a story. I want to shower the cat with hugs and loves and affection and keep him locked up inside forever. He wants to go out and pick fights with the neighborhood cats and reassert his dominance in his society. He's a cheater. When it looks like he's losing, he jumps the fence into our yard and lets the dogs win for him. We have big dogs. And a yappy dog.

I just got a DMCA copyright infringement notice in the mail from my ISP for downloading a movie. What's funny? We didn't do it. Yeah, I know. Everyone's innocent. I think my neighbors did it. It's funny. They moved in and we've been having problems with our router. And now we get a DMCA notice. I want to see the movie, later, when it comes out on DVD. I'm going to rent it for a dollar at the grocery store. Take that, production company! Anyway. I feel very upset and used. I checked all of my computers and game consoles, just to be sure. I found a lot of hidden porn, which I'm not really surprised about. Someone's really interested in looking at sexy pictures of female game characters. Whoo and hoo. Teenagers.

For the last month, I've been unplugging our wi-fi router when we're not actually using it. It's about the best way I know how to keep people from sniping our wi-fi. Though, I sometimes forget because the router is in the other room and when I'm done working, it's late and I'm tired. However, when the DMCA notice listed the infringement time, it was way late at night, when I was working. So it could happen. But they weren't really awake, maybe? Of course, it's not hard to spoof IP addresses. I knew people who did it all the time back when Napster was losing against RIAA. I live in BFE nowhere. This is annoying. Anyway, it doesn't matter other than the fact that it's going to make the hubby yell a lot and I don't want to hear it. They can do what they want, but aside from the numbers they have, we don't have any stolen movie files and we didn't do anything wrong.

Now, I have to take some time and learn about network security while beating family members off with a stick. I sometimes really hate being mom/wife. Can these people not think for themselves/make trivial decisions without my help/breathe without looking at me/find anything for themselves/figure out how to open a fridge or work a microwave?